Thoughts on having TWO Girls....

March 1, 2017

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I'm having the hardest time writing this post.....because I can't find the words to describe how I'm feeling (hello pregnancy hormones!)....so I hope someone out there understands what I'm trying to say.

When I was pregnant with Sadie we opted to not find out the gender until the big day. I often wondered what it would be like to have two boys.....would my relationship with Hudson change? I knew it would on some level but he was my little boy, and would having another boy change our special bond? 

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When Sadie was born obviously my relationship with Hudson changed....he was no longer the baby of the family and he had to share his time with mommy with his sister. But he's still my main man. My favorite boy in the whole world. Similarly, Sadie is my main girl...and my favorite little girl in the whole world. So what I'm wondering is this: how will my relationship with Sadie change once her little sister arrives?

How will I make each girl feel special? Does that make sense? Having one boy and one girl, our relationships are similar, but different at the same time. And I think because I am SO CLOSE with my mom, it's hard for me to imagine having TWO girls. 

So am I crazy? I hope not. 

I'd love to hear from moms of two of the same gender how they figured things out. I'd especially love to hear from those of you who have three kids like me, where one is the opposite gender from the other two. 

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I mean, obviously Sadie is so over me that it won't be a problem, right? Ha. 


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23 Comments »

23 Responses to “Thoughts on having TWO Girls....”

  1. So, I can't help you on the having one of the other gender part, but if your two girls are anything like mine, you will be just fine. Abbie and Ella have such different personalities and it was apparent from day one. Abbie is all independence and sass, and Ella is all momma's girl and sweetness. I love them both, but my it's different, even with Ella so young. I can already see how my relationships will be different with each of them, if that makes sense. They're just completely different kids, even with the things they have in common. You'll figure it out, I promise.

    I'm also the oldest of four girls, and each of us has a different relationship with our mom (all good, but just different). I promise, you have nothing to worry about - Sadie will always be your first girl, but this baby girl will have her own special something you associate with her. You got this mama!

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    1. I also realize I said different about 12 times in that comment. Need more coffee.

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  2. I have two boys, 18 months apart. We didn't find out the gender for either. They're now 3 and 20 months. They are similar in some ways but for the most part very different! Those differences are what make each little person special. You'll love watching they're personalities develop and love seeing their relationship with each other develop (the same way, I'm sure, Hudson and Sadies has).
    It will be fun (a little crazy too) but so much fun! You're going to be a great mama of 3!!

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  3. I had those exact feelings as well! I have two girls, and I can tell you that instantly it goes away just like when you were probably worried about loving a second baby as much as your first. I feel like it is so easy to generalize a boy or a girl but what you realize with two on one gender is you don't look at them as both girls, you look at them as how they are similar and different. Not to mention you'll love watching them bond and also LOVE getting to use those adorable girl clothes again! Good luck!

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  4. I have two girls and then a boy (the same genders as my siblings and I) and I was thrilled to know my daughter would have a sister. There is something magical about sisters. Just wait. Also I agree with the comment above. As soon as you see her sweet face everything aligns and the heavens sing! Your bond with each child will be exactly the same and exactly different all at the same time!

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  5. Can't help you with the opposite gender thing, but I think the answer to your question is similar to those who ask if they can love a second as much as they love a first. Yes, yes you can because "Your love will not be divided but multiplied." You are going to develop a special relationship with #3--and #3 is going to develop a special relationship with Sadie, especially being so close in age. Best of all, the three of you will have your own little girls club and Husdon, well he is going to be the best protective big brother like no other! Sounds like the perfect little family to me! ;) Can't wait for her arrival!

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  7. I hear you loud and clear on this! I'm also expecting my third, and this pregnancy was also a BIG surprise for us. The only difference is I already had two girls...and we're getting a third! But when my second was on the way, I was SO worried about how she would change my relationship with my oldest and how they would be together. I can tell you, it is amazing to watch sisters develop their relationship. I'm feeling all the feels you're feeling again with the third, and I especially relate to what you said about your relationship with your mom. I am so concerned that I won't be as close with my girls as I am with my mom, simply because there are so many of them. I'm an only child, so this sibling stuff is all new to me. I really really want to have special, independent relationships with each of them. But what I'm also learning is that they will have their own relationships between the three of them, and that's just as important, if not more so. I'm just glad you're a little ahead of me on this whole "mom of three thing" because I'm watching everything you do and trying to take it all in stride just as well. You got this, mom!

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    1. I'm an only child too, so I think that's why I'm having a harder time wrapping my head around it! Thank you so much for your response, it so helpful!

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  8. You're not alone! I just had my 3rd boy in 41 months and they could not be any more unique in personality, nursing preferences, sleeping style, diapering, you name it! Just as unique as all 3 of yours will be (one obvs bc he's the only boy...God bless him when those girls start dating!), so will your bond with them. Collectively they'll be your little tribe and your love will cover them all at once. Individually you'll have that special thing that you couldn't imagine with the other. Your family dynamic will shift but don't worry when you're spending time with the babe, the big ones will resume life as buds and you won't feel as spread thin as you probably imagine! Welcome to the wild world of 3! You'll laugh at your rookie self for ever batting an eye at juggle 1 or 2. You'll go out with all 3 and people will look at you like you have 3 heads as you're handling it like a mama boss. If you find they're all screaming at once (bound to happen but prob far fewer times than you imagine), don't take it personally but do take the kids and sometimes husband's approach and use selective hearing. It will be good. You got this!

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    1. This helps so much! And I laughed out loud at the selective hearing. SO TRUE. Thank you sweet friend!!!!

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  9. Totally normal feelings! My two girls are SO different but it is amazing to watch them grow up together. They are at the ages where there is quite a bit of fighting as the younger one learns to communicate better but they can be just as sweet with each other. I don't have a sister so it's fun to watch them cultivate that relationship. If #3 is a boy, they will love on him so much! If it's another girl, she'll be welcomed into the club for sure!

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  10. That last photo is classic! I will say, that having two of the same gender just deepens the bond. Ethan and Wyatt are so different that it's easy not to compare. Plus a huge benefit is that they are interested in most of the same things so I am already seeing them playing together and Wyatt wanting to keep up with his big brother. Cannot wait to "meet" her and hear about how you adjust to having three! xo

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  11. You will do great!!!! Although I don't know anything different - your love just deepens and grows, just like it did with the first! Sisters are the BEST - so very excited for you!

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  12. I have a baby girl and always wonder what will happen if I get pregnant again with another girl. We have such a special bond and I constantly wonder how that will change with #2!

    My SIL did give me amazing advice the other day that may help... always respond to Sadie before the baby (if they both need you at the same time). I guess it will help the older child with sibling rivalry. :)

    Emily | socialdearest.blogspot.com

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  13. The whole time I was pregnant with Finn I just kept picturing another Liam. I couldn't imagine it any other way. But of course he came, and is totally different and our relationships are different just as if they were the opposite gender. You've got this! Good luck!

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  14. Having two girls is my dream come true! And youre not crazy because I had panic attacks about the same thing before Brielana arrived. But as soon as she was placed in my arms all that worry just faded away. There is an adjustment period (naturally) but everything falls into perfect place. You will do beautifully, Julie!

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  15. I have boy, girl, girl and when my last daughter was born, she just fit. I don't really know how to explain it other than it feels like she was always a part of our little family. It is sometimes hard to give my other daughter (also the middle) attention because my youngest is still pretty young and demands/needs more attention and then my son gets alot because he's the boy, so I have to really make sure I am giving my middle some good one on one time. The funny thing is though, my middle would be fine if I didn't do that, but I just feel like I need to, and I want to too. Everything will work out, but it is a balancing act with 3!

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  16. It is all about personality sweet mama - and the bond you have with everyone that is so different. It's a bit like having three friends - each friend is loved in a different way because you have different interests and different personalities. My two girls are so different and we each share a unique bond - one is girly and loves doing hair, make up and dressing up with me and the other is more affectionate so she will hold my hand and cuddle me every day. I'm interested to see how our third girl fits in??
    x

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  17. I'm about to have a second girl too, and I feel the exact same. My son is the oldest and I don't worry about my relationship with him, but Emaline is the one who spends more time with me while Eli is in school and I worry about her dealing with another girlie getting the attention.

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  18. Hm, I never thought twice about having two girls. I have a sister so it's normal for me, I guess. I think a lot of your worry is because your experience is as an only child. I have two brothers too and I don't think any of our relationships with our parents is vastly impacted by what sex we are.
    i think you'll have no problems welcoming another girl into your tribe.

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  19. I have two boys, and spent my entire pregnancy thinking my second would be just like my first. And, of course, they are POLAR opposites. I love them both so much it hurts, and while they are both boys, they really do fit into their separate roles. I have my special little things with each of them, and have a unique relationship with both. One is a blondie and one is a brunette, so I can tell them they are favorite blue eyed boy and brown eyed boy :-) You got this mama and it will fall into place perfectly.

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  20. You're not crazy at all! I have 2 girls and I felt the same way when my second daughter was born. I guarantee that you will love both equally and celebrate their differences! XOXO

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