Dear Working Mom....

April 21, 2015


I see you.

I see you wake up when it's still dark and your house is quiet so that you can pack lunches, put on some make up, and do your hair.

I see you wipe the tears out of your eyes when you drop your child off at daycare. He was extra clingy today and cried "no school!" over and over to you. And all you wanted to do was agree with him and stay home....but you didn't. 

I see you setting a good example for your son, even when it's hard.

I see you feeling left out when other moms talk about play groups and bible studies. 

I see you hauling your purse, lunch, water bottle, and breast pump back and forth to work each day. 

I see you worrying about the spit up stain on your blouse and hoping no one notices.

I see you trying to hide the bags under your eyes after being up since 3:30 a.m. with a child who just wanted mommy. And by the time you got that child back to bed, it was 30 minutes until your alarm was supposed to go off, so you just got up for the day.

I see you worry about your work performance because you know you are being watched more closely now that you are a mom.

I see you try to deny and fake a smile when your co-worker says you look tired. You know your appearance is being judged more critically now too.

I see you hold back the tears when your child's daycare calls just to let you know your daughter tripped and busted her lip, but that she's fine, they just wanted you to know.

I see your heart breaking that it was a stranger who comforted her, and not you.

I see you throw your hair up in a pony tail because the baby didn't sleep at all last night and it's a miracle you even made it in to work.

I see you checking your phone frequently between meetings, not to browse instagram or Facebook, but to make sure you didn't miss a phone call about your child.

I see you use your lunch break to schedule doctor and dentist appointments, pick up diapers, and drop off the extra clothes at daycare that you forgot to send that morning.

I see you try not to roll your eyes when a stay at home mom makes a comment to you about how nice it must be get dressed and do your makeup every day. Little does she know the only reason you look the way you do is because you have to. Don't judge her....her job is hard too.

I see you keeping an eye on the clock and hoping your meeting doesn't run long so that you can make it to daycare pick up in time.

I see you  use up all of your vacation days taking care of a sick child.

I see you making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner because it's more important to you to hold your child after a rough day than it is to make dinner.

I see you stay up late to put toys away, wipe down the kitchen counters, and set the dishwasher.

I see you do all of these things and I wanted to let you know this.....

You are a good mom.

You are the most perfect mom for your child. 

You give him everything (and more) than he needs.

You are a good mom.


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56 Comments »

56 Responses to “Dear Working Mom....”

  1. Oh my goodness ... needed this very post this morning, Julie. THANK YOU.

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  2. I love this so much. Brings tears to my eyes (blame it on the hormones!). XO

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    1. Me too!

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    2. Sitting here at work crying too!

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  3. Love this and it's all SO true. I stay at home now, but this was me for the first 2 years of Sadie's life...5am wakeup calls, 3 (or more) hours of commuting every day), long 12.5 hour shifts that kept me away until after Sadie's bedtime and resulted in me not seeing her at all the 3 days a week I worked. Everyone always says that going back to work after your maternity leave gets easier and you adjust, but I never did. It broke my heart. I've been staying home for a year now, so I've worn both sets of shoes and you're right, both are HARD and I have so much respect for mama's, period. Thanks for this post!

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    1. Yaaaaassssssss! Validation, I needed a strong dose of that!

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  4. This is a fabulous post, lady! All moms ROCK!

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  5. So, so beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes. Whether we stay at home or go to work a mom's job is damn hard. We're all doing our best, it's so easy to be hard on ourselves - but like you said we're the perfect mom for our kids.

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  6. This post couldn't be more on point!

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  7. I really, really love this. I've been struggling lately and I really needed to read this. Thank you.

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  8. So so true. Today I am late going into work Bc the baby is sick and has now passed it on to me but I've used all my vacation taking care of her. Plus my work situation is scary and I NEED my job more than anything-do want it but need it! You Rock lady! Cannot wait to see baby #2 in a few short weeks:)

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  9. Stop making me tear up in front of my students. Not going to cry, not going to cry....

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  10. I love this. We are s family that both start work at 7am so mornings are early and busy!! It's hard to wake her that early. But it's gotta be done!

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  11. This is beautiful, Julie. I think many of us needed this today. <3

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  12. Wow, this post sure rings true...as I wipe my tears. The working mom struggle is real! Some weeks are so so hard, but I try to remember to cut myself some slack because I'm doing the best I can do. Great post :)

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  13. All moms are working moms (but I'm sure you don't want to hear that!). Everyone just tries to do the best they can. Working or non working we're all good moms. And shame on anyone who judges (in either direction!). I can't remember a time I've ever thought being a working mom or a stay at home mom was "easier". Just different.

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  14. This made me tear up. Thank you for this! I needed this today!

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  15. Wow! I'm a SAHM but I think this is one of the best posts I've ever read! So well and perfectly said...
    I see these moms too x

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  16. I'm not a mother yet and this made me tear up!! What a great post Julie!

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  17. This post is beautiful. It is perfect timing with a daughter who just turned two I can relate to every sentence of this. It is the little pick me up I needed on my break, since my daughter has been needing me more than usual and I am feeling huge guilt about not being there for every moment. Thank you!

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  18. Julie!!!! What a fabulous post!!

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  19. This couldn't have come on a better day. Thank you Julie!!!

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  20. I so needed this! I just shut my office door and cried. Thank you!

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  21. Thank you. *wipes tears* Now, where did you hide those cameras?

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  22. Thank you. I just started back at work 2 weeks ago and it still doesn't feel easy yet. I have this huge amount of guilt and although my son has adjusted well, I still cry almost every day. I needed this today. I get up every day at 4:30 AM to pre-make supper because after a work I really only have an hour and a half before he has to go to bed for the night and I want to spend every moment I can with him.
    Thank you.

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  23. Thank you so much! I can relate to so much of this... right now, the "using all your vacation days to take care of sick kids". I literally used my last 8 hours last week because the baby had pinkeye. I can't remember the last time I used a vacation day to go on vacation!

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  24. Love this! I get off pretty easy though as Ryan does the drops offs in the morning...I just get to pick up! ;)

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  25. I'm a new mom and thank you for this. Being a mom is , without a doubt, the most rewarding thing in the world but it can be the most isolating as well. It's nice to know that somewhere out there in the world is a mommy who feels the same way you do.

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  26. Totally made me tear up over here! Man, it's hard. I know that I need to work (for financial reasons and also for myself), but some days it is just hard hard hard. It's even more difficult when you have a young baby at home because of lack of sleep plus still having to deal at work like a normal person PLUS taking time to pump, etc if you're breastfeeding. Anyway, love love love this post.

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  27. This is beautiful. I am now a sahm but for the first few years I wasn't. I was a working mom. It is hard. I can't wait to share this with all my working mom friends.

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  28. I blame a teething baby but I needed this post this morning. I want nothing more than to stay at home with my baby girl. Right now it's just not in the cards for us. I'm tired, people tell me I look tired, my hair is in a ponytail. I have an extra large coffee on my desk and my break will be spent searching for orajel to sooth that little mouth. My breast pump waits in the back office to be used twice a day. It's tough, it really is.

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  29. I so needed every last word of this! Thank you!!!

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  30. Good one, Julie! Tears are streaming down my face...I feel like you are talking to ME! I love my job, and I could NEVER be a SAHM (both financially and mentally), but it's hard - timewise, emotionally, everything - to juggle it all. Thanks for the beautiful reminder that we aren't alone and that we are doing the best we can! xo

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  31. Perfection. Being a mom is tough no matter if you work out of the home, in the home or are a stay at home.

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  32. Thank you...just thank you.

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  33. I can relate to this. Thank you for posting.

    thesensibleshopaholic.com

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  34. Julie, this post is so very poignant. I remember feeling every single one of those feelings in the 8 months that I spent working after Caleb was born. As you know, I stay at home now - which comes with its own set of challenges (and which is surprisingly isolating at times). There are definitely pro's and cons to both sides. But any time I think I am having a bad day, I try to remember how thankful I am to be able to be at home with my children, and how I wish every mother had the option to make that choice without feeling forced one way or another.

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  35. Beautifully written! Heart wrenching and lovely at the same time <3

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  36. Love this! It's all so very true - thanks for sharing Julie!!

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  37. Still so true after 2 1/2 years with twin boys! Hearing, "No go! No work! Stay home!" in surround sound while I'm trying to put their jackets on breaks my heart every single day. Thank you for this.

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  38. That was beautiful, thank you!

    Heather
    www.theduncanadventures.com

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  39. This is so sweet, Julie!! :) I love your perspective on it. I work but only part time, somedays it is SO difficult to go to work... especially now when she tells me "No I want to stay at home with Mommy"... it definitely reaffirms that I'm doing what's best for Scarlett staying at home with her most days and working evening shifts... All of us are just doing our best, not every mom is made to be a stay at home mom and that's ok :)

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  40. Yes yes and yes. Love all of this. I think the worst (for me) is the "stay home mommy" and "don't take me to (babysitter)'s". So convincing!

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  41. I'm only a year into this mom thing but holy cow, yesssss.

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  42. Thank you for this. You made me cry like a baby. I got back to work in a little over a week and while I need to and want to do that for my family, I SO don't want to leave my little bug with someone else taking care of her.

    Thank you thank you thank you for the support.

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  43. This is such a great post!!! Thank you! You are a great mom too!

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  44. Ok, cue the tears. Seriously, I can relate to every sentence. Thank you for this post!

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  45. Wow, where is an entire box of tissues when you need one?! Beautiful post. I'm not a working mom but I could feel my heart hurting while reading through these challenges that working moms have to face. My mom was a working mom and I always thought she was everything.

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  46. What a beautiful post. I used to be a working mom and I identified with much of this. Also for 20 years I was the child care professional who saw (and talked to) moms who had a lot of these feelings.

    Thank you for sharing and encouraging so many mommies with this post.
    xoxo

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  47. Love this Julie! It is not easy to be a working mom, at all. But we all do the best we can, whether working mom or SAHM. This is such an encouraging post for all of us moms.

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  48. I need this, this is so beautifully written, while I don't drop our daughter off to daycare, it's very hard for me to leave her in the morning just as it is for my husband to leave her in the evening. We work opposite schedules so she doesn't have to be in daycare. But it's hard.

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  49. ahh this post is so my life right now! thanks!!!

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  50. Came across this post today on my 5 minutes for me before I go get the kids. i'm at my desk, in an empty office, since most people leave early on fridays... trying to wipe away the tears while I pack up and write this. thank you - times a billion. a single working mom of two toddlers no less, and living with my mom until I can buy them a home. no time for more than that - but thank you.

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