The Thief of Joy

September 24, 2013

We all do it. We let comparison steal our joy. I'm guilty of it too.

 She's skinnier then me...They have a nicer house...Their kid sleeps through the night...She gets to be a stay at home mom...Her wardrobe is so much better than mine...

And let me just say this: it's exhausting. 

I don't know about you, but sometimes I can get caught up in this horrible game. I feel overwhelmed with pinterest perfect meals, photos, outfits, kids, name it. And I start to get down on myself. Start to think maybe I'm not good enough. That's what comparison does. It makes us feel unworthy...and that's a horrible way to live. 

Combating comparison is a constant battle, but it's one I'm determined to win. I won't let comparison steal my joy or run my life. Enough is enough. It's time to embrace what makes me, me. And forget about all that other stuff. 

The reality is we are all flawed. No one is perfect. 

But that doesn't mean we can't have it all. It's just that "having it all" doesn't mean having lots of stuff. It means having love.

 photo RenAug13_12.jpgI'll never forget a lesson I learned when Hudson was just a few weeks old. It was the middle of the night and I was up once again with a fussy baby that screamed every time I tried to put him down. I was praying that he would just sleep for an hour so that I could get some rest. I was exhausted. And throwing a pretty extravagant pity party for myself. For some reason I decided to check my email on my phone and saw a message from one of my neighbors letting me know that our other neighbor had just gone in to labor at 22 weeks and that her baby had died. And due to complications she might not be able to ever have a baby.....and I just lost it. My heart broke. I cried big fat messy tears. My sweet neighbor would do anything to be in my shoes right now. She would give anything to be exhausted yet holding her baby boy. Right then in that moment I realized I had it all. I had a perfect baby boy in my arms. I was healthy. I had an amazing husband by my side. What else matters really?

The secret to having it all is knowing that you already do. 

And now let me introduce you to another mama who has it all....Katie from Yellow Mango Life.
Hey there!  I’m Katie and I blog over at Yellow Mango Life.  

Yellow. Because it’s my favorite color. Mango. Because it’s an easier way to refer to our last name. Life. Because this little space talks all about ours.

I met my husband, Nick, in college in 2000. Fell in love. Got engaged in Cabo in 2008. Married in 2009. Had our amazing baby, Cruz, in 2011. And that’s where this all began. Read more ‘About Me’ here.

 I started documenting my pregnancy at Yellow Mango Life as a place for our family and friends to keep up on all things prego. Not only that, but I really needed a new hobby, since my drinking days were over.

Yellow Mango houses all things about our life – learnings as a new mama, products we loved for Cruz man, fun little facts about our family, even funnier things out of his mouth, pictures of our fam {check out his photo shoot here} and things I’m loving lately. Just a little mishmash of everything us.

We would love it if you would swing by and check us out…chances are we will do the same!

Follow Me On BloglovinFollow Me On InstagramFollow Me On FacebookFollow Me On Pinterest

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26 Responses to “The Thief of Joy”

  1. Really needed to read this today. Such great quotes and inspiring words.

    XOXO Fal

  2. Beautifully put Julie! It's so important to take a moment and look around once in a while at just how blessed we are.

  3. This is so true... We need to look at what we have rather than focus on what we don't!

  4. With IG, blogs, twitter, email so accessible these days it is really really hard not to compare ourselves. We're all giving so much information about our day-to-day lives whenever we post on IG. I'm horrible at getting down on myself for this or that. Thanks for this post Julie and the great quotes!

  5. Love, love this post! It really is true that the secret to having it all is knowing you already do. I always stress and compare myself to others (as hard as I try not to) and think I'm not as stylish and definitely make a lot less money than others. But, really, all you need in your heart is love for others and things that money can't buy.

  6. I am so guilty of this! You just never know what struggles people are experiencing or have experienced in the past, no matter how perfect their life may seem. Thanks for sharing Julie!

  7. I love this!!( But I don't think I'll ever stop being jealous of your hair). This is SO true! I feel like I struggled for a long time. Then snapped outta it and realized its way easier (and funner) to just focus on being happy and doing what makes me happy! Buuuuut letsbehonest it's still hard sometimes.

    Love you!

  8. So beautifully written! Comparison is a b*tch! Glad to see most Mama's in the blogging world uplifting and supporting eachother rather than "out-doing" one another.

    IG: megawat
    Hello Newlywed Life Blog

  9. Julie, I needed to hear this so badly today. I read a post recently about this topic (comparison being the thief of joy), so I think that this is something that a lot of us moms are struggling with right now. It's hard to be content when we constantly feel the pressure of 'perfect' upon us. But you are SO right - we have healthy babies, loving husbands...what more could we ask for? Thank you for reminding me of this!

  10. Beautifully written & so true. We all seem to forget how blessed we really are.

  11. Beautiful post and something I think of often. I've made it known, but I dont lament on the loss and struggle we experienced prior to A. I love her with my whole heart so hard and feel so so so incredibly blessed to be preparing for another little one. It's all we dreamed of and are so full. It's fun to make life "pretty", but it doesn't matter in the scheme of things. Social media can be a monster...

  12. This is so true! It's hard sometimes & we all do this.... a great reminder though!!

  13. The blogging world can support one another but I also think it feeds that comparison devil. Thank you for the reminder to myself and everyone else who reads your blog, it is needed!

  14. So true. Great post! I recently came to this revelation after going to a cesarean support group and realizing that even though I still have major sadness and grief over my son's birth...I get to have my son...and I should be so incredibly grateful for that.

  15. Such an important post to read right now - I always lust after what others have and are doing in their lives that makes mine feel like it doesn't compare but the truth is we all have so much to offer and amazing things happening in our lives every single day. It's so important to be thankful for what we have and not compare ourselves to others. And we need to remember 'the grass is not greener on the other side, the grass is greener where you water it!' (I love this quote because it's so true)

    Thanks for putting it into perspective...oh and thanks for allowing me to be featured on your blog space! :) I really appreciate it and as always look forward to reading more about you and that beautiful baby boy of yours!


  16. Such a great reminder. You and Natasha (from Hello! Happiness) are on the same wave length today. Definitely needed it this morning!

  17. It is amazing to have a message come into your life just at the right moment to give you perspective. Beautiful reminder to step back and remember all the things we do have - so many blessings. Thank you for posting this.

  18. Amen, Sister!!! This post is such a great reminder. I too, struggle with this sometimes but couldn't agree more about how truly blessed I am! Thanks for the great, great reminder!

  19. I feel you! Blogging makes it a little harder as well. But everyone is fighting their own battles and we must always remember this!

  20. This is the second post I've read today about comparison, and you also hit the nail right on the head.

    I wish people (women specifically) would lift each other up rather than tear each other down in the name of comparison.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  21. I love these quotes! A reminder I can always use :)

  22. New reader, here. Great post and such a great reminder! I did a post similar to this a couple of weeks ago about true transparency in motherhood.

    I see so many amazing ladies get so down on themselves when they are some of the most talented and best moms I know.

    Love your blog!


  23. So very true! I think as women, no matter how hard we try, we are all guilty of this. I need this as a reminder each and every day (maybe an iphone wallpaper!). Thanks for the inspiration!


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